


And We Danced- A Cullen Rutherford Headcanon!

by Mo Of The Money (dr_isiandra)



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, As in super explicit terms for genitalia, Explicit Language, Headcanon, I hate myself but also I'm immensely pleased with myself., Karaoke, Sorry Not Sorry, Take care of yourself I love you, That's a warning friends, This is a very dirty song, crackficlet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 15:36:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16452671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dr_isiandra/pseuds/Mo%20Of%20The%20Money
Summary: A headcanon I've had for two damn years. Unfinished perhaps, but this was all I needed to satisfy my headcanon.Cullen sings raunchy karaoke. It's basically a crackficlet. That's all you need to know, because really that's all it is!Written with a f!Trevelyan Inquisitor in mind, but honestly you could substitute any of the female Inquisitors!





	And We Danced- A Cullen Rutherford Headcanon!

**Author's Note:**

> So this headcanon is based on an extremely explicit and raunchy Macklemore song from 2011, 'And We Danced'. I think it's a good idea to listen to the song while reading the fic, but do your own thing, friends! It's got a lot of filthy words for genitalia so please take care of yourselves! ['And We Danced' by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis ft Ziggy Stardust](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vhf5cuXiLTA&fbclid=IwAR0-UuFi3Lp6b_Gz_EH_raN1Bh6K23B_xjSeoUjG0l97-JEwyBO7bSdhJig)
> 
> I love AO3 so much, and I don't post a lot of my own works because I don't want to leave people hanging but I absolutely had to share this. 
> 
> Also I initially posted this on my phone like 3 hours ago and I came back and offended myself because I misspelled "Stardust" in my hyperlink.
> 
> And now, before I let myself rant anymore, ENJOY!
> 
>  
> 
> **Slight edits as of 10/29/2018 6:20pm Eastern/New York time to make it less Trevelyan. Put your own Quizzy in there!**

“I have the perfect song for you, yeah?” Sera’s grin made Cullen nervous. “You’ll get into Quizzy’s pants with this song. Just trust me.”

“Sera, has anyone ever completely trusted you?” He muttered, not even expecting a reply as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Maker’s breath, what did I get into?”

Sera glared at him. “Widdle trusts me. Quizzy values my opinion, trusts me with her life and made Pride Cookies with me. Dorian trusts my matchmaking skills, and…”

“Alright Sera, I get it. Sorry.” Cullen pinched the bridge of his nose. “What song am I singing?”

“‘And We Danced’,” the blonde elf cackled, grinning. “By some dude called Macklemore.”

“Oh Maker, _that_ song?” He knew it by heart thanks to the Inquisitor playing it nonstop for weeks a couple of months ago.

“Yeah. And get into it will you? I saw your poor attempt at dancing while it blared through Skyhold once.” Sera gave a feral grin. “Now get on stage. Quizzy and Dorian are giving me weird looks. What if they think I like you? Eugh.”

Resigned, Cullen trudged onto the stage, the microphone at his side as Varric started chants of “Curly! Curly!” Rolling his eyes, he took his leather jacket off, tossing it off to the side. The Inquisitor wolf-whistled and he smirked even as a blush began to rise on his neck.

“Ready, Commando?” Sera’s voice came from stage left, where he had just emerged from. Rolling his shoulders, he gave a feral grin.

“Bring it, Cupcake.” He said into the mic, getting into it as Sera whooped and hit the karaoke machine’s play button. The piano riff began and the crowd went silent.

“Ooh-ley-hey-heya, ooh-ley-hey-heya, oo-ley-hey-heya…” He closed his eyes to focus on the song and not his growing nerves. “And we danced. And we cried. And we laughed. And had a really, really, really good time.” Starting it out as a slower ballad-y song was genius and he thanked the Maker, Andraste, and her mabari that it did. It was easier to let go of his nerves. “Tonight, tonight, tonight… ‘Cause tonight’s the night am I right? Dance!”

Cullen saw several of the audience members jump as he shouted “dance”, making him smirk and get even more into the song. The Inquisitor had that gorgeous smile of hers plastered on her face, her eyes twinkling as he laid into the first verse with as much charisma and passion as he could muster. “There’s a knock on the door, it’s the neighbors. Quit cockblocking we’re having a hoedown. You hoes down? Don’t let me pull my hose out.” He began to moonwalk across the stage cuing squeals from his fans. “Because it’s big, long, pink, strong, and I’ve been known to dance, like, all night long.” He sang as strongly as he could, his emotions bleeding through as he let loose for the first time since before the fall of Kinloch. There had been several dance-offs among the Templar recruits and he had learned a lot from them. “And we danced. And we cried. And we laughed! And had a really, really, really good time. Take my hand,” he held his hand out to the audience, attempting to aim it specifically in the Inquisitor's direction. “Let’s have a blast and remember this moment for the rest of our lives!”

The second verse, Cullen realized, was his anthem for the night. “I am not, I am not going to stand on the wall! I will dance, I will dance! I will break that ass off!” His gaze fell on Varric, sitting near the wall. The dwarf hadn’t graced the stage with his energy yet and a smirk formed on Cullen’s face. “And I see you in the corner, the corner looking so small doing the robot. Like, if I die tonight at least I went hard!” Varric smirked back, a hard look in his eyes. Good, he had taken the challenge. “I will be the discoball, freaking give my all to whatever girl’s booty I”m freaking on. I’m not skeeting, nah it’s just freaking hot.” The short lyrical pause allowed him to give a sheepish smile, a shrug, and a wink. “Alright, I skeeted.” He could hear Josie, Cassandra, and the Inquisitor squealing loudly and Dorian was fanning himself. Bull nodded approvingly, a wide grin on his face. “”Dedicate this to the dance floor. Party up the sorrow ‘til tomorrow happens We pledge allegiance to the DJ. Put your hands up.” He ended the the verse with a salute, going into the chorus while beckoning Sera to him. He handed her a mic from the side of the stage, and motioned to her to sing the bridge with him.

“You see me looking at you from that bar right over there, but your friends are huddled up and they are hating. On. A. Player. I just wanna dance with you, get on the back of you, tip tap the boots, extract the truth…” Sera sang with him, adding even more enthusiasm. He let her have the final line of the bridge, which she shouted with gusto he shouldn’t have been surprised she had.

“AWESOME!”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I love you guys here on AO3 don't ever change, kay?


End file.
